


Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

by Carlet



Series: Philinda Forever and Always [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Spoilers, mama may
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25945729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carlet/pseuds/Carlet
Summary: Spoilers for AOS.When all that remained of SHIELD was in the Lighthouse and ragtag team Mack was rebuilding, who would pass down the stories of the agents that came before them?Who would pass down the story of Phil Coulson, an ordinary man who was extraordinary in every way possible?Melinda adjusts to her new role as a professor at Coulson Academy.
Relationships: Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Series: Philinda Forever and Always [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933060
Comments: 34
Kudos: 131





	Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Hamilton.

They were nervous.

It was the fifth class of the second semester, and May could feel her class’s anxiety a hundred feet away from the open door of the lecture hall. The feeling was all-consuming, hitting her suddenly with a wave so strong that grew with every step she took; she stopped before reaching the door. It seemed her reputation preceded her so well, the recruits still looked up at her with equal parts reverence and fear.

Flint, who had been walking calmly beside her, stopped as well. His experiences in the dystopian future Lighthouse had given him more experience than half the cadets at the Academy combined, but most of her students were fresh faced and barely out of high school. “Feeling it again, huh?”

Melinda nodded curtly and took a breath in an attempt to steady herself. Flint was the only one of her students who knew about her empath abilities, and she’d prefer to keep it that way. The Cavalry could _not_ enter class as nervous as her subjects. “Go. I’ll be right there.”

(If she were to be completely honest, she’d admit that part of what she was feeling came from _her_ and not solely from her class. She’d never thought she’d missed feeling nothing).

She breathed in and out slowly, in through her nose and out through her mouth as her mother had taught her as a small child; her heart rate began to stabilize.

_Here we go._

Melinda rolled her shoulders back, straightened her leather blazer, and walked into the lecture hall.

* * *

_Eight months ago_

“So you’re really doing this, huh?”

May zipped up her duffel and closed her eyes, the rush of Daisy’s longing and disbelief flooding through her from deep within, although by now she was used to being overcome by another’s emotions. She turned around to see Daisy leaning against the open door.

The young Inhuman’s eyes were slightly watery as she took in the empty surroundings of what had been Melinda’s bunk in the Lighthouse for so long, although now it was empty and devoid of anything save for the standard SHIELD issued furniture. Her scant personal belongings and clothing had been packed away into the duffel on top of the bed and the suitcase at her feet.

“You knew this was coming.”

Daisy slipped inside and sat on the bed automatically in her usual spot. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly.“But it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”

After the Chronicoms were _finally_ defeated, after a good night’s sleep and many drinks later, the team had gathered in the Zephyr for the discussion they all knew was long overdue. Fitzsimmons had been the first to announce their retirement, which surprised exactly no one. Fitz pulled up photos of a quaint little cottage in Scotland they’d purchased, where they were planning to raise their daughter and finally just live their lives.

The rest of the team stayed together for the next few months. Mack started recruiting more agents and working towards re-legitimizing SHIELD. The organization grew rapidly, a new base was established (no one missed the doom and gloom of the Lighthouse), and soon Yo-Yo was appointed to lead her own Strike team with Piper and newly returned LMD Davis; YoYo now spent the majority of her time away from HQ. As for Mack, he was busy leading the charge on their first helicarrier since SHIELD originally fell.

Daisy was next. After reports of abnormal behavior in deep space, Mack had assigned her, Sousa, and Kora to explore the area in the Zephyr; they were set to leave next week.

“I can tell.” Melinda quipped. She sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Daisy’s knee. “It’ll be okay.”

Daisy leaned back against the pillow. “I know, I know. It doesn’t make it any easier, though. I mean, we literally spent every waking hour together for _years._ And now everyone’s…gone.”

“If it makes you feel better, this is the way it’s always been. Before SHIELD fell, I mean.”

“In the good old days, you mean?” Daisy joked. “Back in your _youth_?”

Melinda rolled her eyes. “And we’ll still see each other.”

“But it won’t be the same.”

“No. But it’ll be better.”

Daisy sniffled. “I know. And I’m happy for you, really. I mean, rebuilding SHIELD Academy is a pretty big deal.”

Melinda could feel that already, of course, a slight hint of Daisy’s excitement blooming in her chest despite the sadness emanating from the Inhuman. “I know. It was something Phil and I discussed in Tahiti. Glad we’re finally able to make good on that.”

“Imagine that.” Daisy said. “Professor May. Kinda has a nice ring to it.”

Her stomach lurched. “Just May is fine.”Yes, she couldn’t deny she was excited. Although she loved being in the field, her body certainly didn’t, and the idea of nurturing the next generation of SHIELD agents full time was the perfect and natural next step. But the notion of being responsible for the education of hundreds of future SHIELD agents also terrified her. “Can’t say I’m not nervous, though,” she admitted. It was the first time she’d spoken the words out loud.

Definitely not the best time for her to start getting her emotions back.

“Who, _you_?” Daisy blinked. “You know you’ll kick ass. Everyone will love you!”

“ _You_ didn’t, not at first.”

“Well, no. You’re not exactly warm and fuzzy. But you’re the best SO I ever had.”

Melinda leveled her with a flat stare. “Your only other SO was _Ward_.”

Daisy waved the fact away. “Never mind that. You taught me everything I know, made me an agent. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. You helped Yo-Yo get her powers back. And you taught Jemma how to fight, which could not have been easy. And you whipped the Strike team into shape. You’re a natural teacher and you never give up on anyone. And noweveryone else deserves a chance to learn from you too. Trust me, you’ll do great.” She grabbed May’s hand. “You know I’m telling the truth. You can feel it.”

“Teaching you or Piper and Davis is one thing. Lecturing in front of an entire classroom is completely different.”

“So?” Daisy argued. “Just pretend it’s a room full of me’s. It’ll just take some time to get used to. They’re going to love you, and you’re going to love them. And now I’m pissed I have to share you with everyone else.”

Melinda looked at her watch. She had a few minutes until she had to be at the Academy to prepare for her first day next week. Kicking off her shoes, she settled back on the bed next to Daisy.

“You’ve never not been here,” Daisy continued. “And now with Coulson gone too. Again.”

A barrage of grief flooded through Daisy to her, and Melinda knew without looking at Daisy’s face what, or more specifically, _who_ else she was referring to.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Melinda insisted. “Even if you’re in space, you can always reach me. I’m sorry about Jiaying. But I promise I’ll always be here.”

“You are.” Daisy agreed. “I know. But that doesn’t mean I won’t miss you.”

Melinda laced her fingers around Daisy’s. “I’ll miss you too.” She pressed her lips to Daisy’s temple; a move that surprised Daisy as much as herself.

Daisy snuggled closer to Melinda.“Have you spoken with him yet?” she asked after a moment.

Not long after Fitzsimmons had announced their intention to leave, Coulson did the same, admitting that he wasn’t ready to be turned off just yet, instead wishing to take some time to reflect. He’d left before her plans to rebuild SHIELD Academy had been finalized.

“Not yet.” Melinda replied. “He needs to figure things out, and so do I.”

“He’s still in love with you.”

_I know._ The longing in his eyes whenever he looked at her was painfully obvious; even if she physically got nothing upon touching him, she didn’t need her empath abilities to know how he felt.

“He’d be really proud of you, you know.”

Melinda nodded and closed her eyes. An image of Phil smiling at her from the chaise lounge where he’d spent most of his time in Tahiti flashed before her eyes, followed by an image of Phil smiling at her as they’d spoken in the 1980s Lighthouse moments before young Garrett teleported onto the big X Phil had painted on the ground.

_I hope so._

* * *

“All right,” Melinda started as she faced the class. “Let’s pick up on what we worked on yesterday. Trusting your team.” She looked down at her notes; her plan was to lecture for half of the class time, and then spend the rest on a practical exercise she’d set up in the field behind the building. “Rarely in SHIELD will missions be done alone. Even as a Specialist, you will be teamed up with others, those you’ve probably only met once, and in order to survive, you will need to learn how to work together quickly.”

A student in the third row raised his hand. “Agent May?”

Melinda pointed to him. His confusion flooded her gut, although the feeling was not as strong as it had been before she’d shared her empathy with the Chronicoms. “Yes?”

“How exactly do we do that?”

She searched deeper in an attempt to find any signs of insincerity or arrogance; his question was exactly one that a young Ward may have posed in an attempt to disrupt the class. But she found nothing but curiosity.

When she didn’t respond, only folded her arms across her chest and arranged her features in a neutral expression, he continued. “I mean, most of us barely know each other. Drinking games can only take us so far.”

Another student jumped in without bothering to raise her hand. “I was kind of wondering that too. We’ve all heard the stories of you, and Director Mackenzie, Agent Johnson, or Agent Rodriguez...You’ve all known each other for so long, so of course it was easy for you.And it was pretty much only your team for so long. But now SHIELD’s pretty big. How are we supposed to rely on people who are basically complete strangers?” The student blushed upon noticing May’s full attention on her. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Melinda considered their questions. How _had_ she learned to rely on her team?

Phil’s face flashed before her mind, quickly followed by Daisy’s.

Without another thought, Melinda shut her laptop, her previously arranged lecture for the day abandoned. She hadn’t wanted to go there, not yet, but she can sense their underlying curiosity, their yearning for answers to the questions she hadn’t particularly been eager to field for a while.

But she hadn’t decided to name the Academy after _him_ without also intending to pass on his legacy to the next generation of SHIELD recruits.

“Let’s try something a little different today.” She said. “Let’s start with some history.”

* * *

_“No.”_

_“You haven’t even heard—“_

_Melinda opened one eye and leveled him with a flat stare. It had no effect on him, as usual, as he continued to blather on._

_“You and I both know you don’t want to be in the field forever. You said so yourself.” Phil said._

_She pushed herself up on the chaise, mindful of the way her improperly healed leg twinged. After fighting on it for so long without proper treatment, the muscles would probably never repair themselves. “And?”_

_“And we’ve been talking for so long about rebuilding the Academy.”_

_“Yes, I agree. But that doesn’t mean_ I _have to be the one to teach.”_

_“Doesn’t Professor May have kind of a sexy ring to it?” Phil teased, the twinkle in his eyes causing her resolve to soften (but only for a moment)._

_“I’m not Andrew. Combat I can teach. Happy to do that. But grade papers and give lectures?”_

_“How’s that different from your work with the Strike team? Or with Daisy? It’ll just be on a larger scale. And you can hire a TA to read over anything you don’t want to.” He placed his hand over hers. “You have so much more to offer, Mel. More than just the muscle of the team. All of your experiences, our team’s adventures? You and I both know some of our best instructors drew from their own past missions, and who better to pass that torch along?_

_“I-I just don’t see myself—“_

_“_ I _do.” Phil insisted. “And so will you. Just give it some thought.”_

_They didn’t revisit the subject for the rest of the night; with the ocean mere steps away, the wine that seemed to flow endlessly, and the simple yet delicious meal that Phil had cooked for dinner (she’d offered to prepare something, but he’d waved her suggestion away, saying that he didn’t need to spend the evening getting to know the fire department)._ _But the thought continued to nag her, making its way into her brain and invading her thoughts even as she lay curled on his chest and fought to catch her breath after a particularly spectacular round of “parasailing.”_

_She definitely wasn’t enthused about the idea of lecturing in front of a bored classroom of new recruits, or marking up poorly written final papers and exams in red pen. But the pride she felt every time she looked at Daisy, whom she’d trained from the very start, was undeniable. Training the Strike team had been exciting, and seeing them grow and helping them to build their confidence with each week had been one of the highlights of the past several years. And not finding herself injured and beat up every other day definitely sounded appealing._ _ Not to mention at some point, her poorly healed leg and the other injuries she'd accumulated over the years were going to catch up to her, and she'd have no choice but to leave the field. Better to leave now before she found herself completely immobile.  _

_As a young recruit, Melinda had listened wide eyed to her instructors, soaking in every word from those who had worked directly with Peggy Carter, Howard Stark, or other original SSR agents. These were the legends and role models that all young recruits had looked up to, had aspired to be. Melinda herself had found herself particularly inspired by Carter, and sought to be just like her._

_But now? When all that remained of SHIELD was in the Lighthouse and ragtag team Mack was rebuilding, who would pass down the stories of the agents that came before them?_

_Who would pass down the story of Phil Coulson, an ordinary man who was extraordinary in every way possible?_

_“Damn.”_

_Phil looked down at her. “Everything okay?”_

_“You were right.”_

_He chuckled, sending a deep vibration through her body. “I_ knew _you’d come around! Think about it! It’s the perfect timing. Mack’s got a good handle on things, I’m sure, and that’ll free you up to rebuild the Academy. You’ll have a hand in shaping the next generation of SHIELD agents! All of all that history needs to be passed down, and_ you _get to do it!”_

_“Sounds like someone’s jealous.”_

_“A little.” He responded wistfully. His fingers started running through her hair, a wonderful feeling that had her snuggling closer to him. Melinda curled her arm tighter around his torso, although careful to avoid the scars on his chest. “I always thought I’d eventually retire and teach SHIELD history or something. Inspire new recruits with stories of the Avengers or the Howling Commandos…”_

_“Nerd.”_

_“But this is the next best thing.” He insisted. “Professor May, whipping them all into shape. Educating tomorrow’s youth at SHIELD Academy 2.0.”_

_Phil continued to speak excitedly, already planning lessons she could give out far in advance. She hummed along in agreement, nodding at the right moments. But Melinda was barely listening._

_She agreed that the Academy needed to be rebuilt._

_As Coulson Academy, that is._

_It had a nice ring to it._

* * *

Melinda cleared her throat. “Many of you know Agent Phil Coulson, and all about his time with the Avengers. You’ve all heard the rumors flying around campus. But most of you don’t know the rest, and why his story is so important.”

She looked into the eager faces of her students, awash with their excitement and rapt attention that crashed into her like a wave, causing her to speak more animatedly than she’d ever believed she could.

“I was the one who put the initial team together, consisting of Agents Fitz and Simmons, or Fitzsimmons as we came to know them, Ward, whom you may know was actually part of Hydra, and myself. But it was Coulson who turned a team of strangers into family. _Coulson_ who rebuilt SHIELD after it was destroyed by Hydra. _Coulson_ who is the very reason why you’re here today, in an institution named after him.”

“And today I’d like to tell you all about him.”

It should’ve been Phil standing here, recounting his adventures with killer LMDs, the Framework, Inhumans, time travel, Ghost Rider, and so much more. Never in her years had she ever imagined she’d be standing here in his place instead; she’d always imagined she’d go out in a blaze of glory, years before him.

But as she stood before her class, a new feeling spread through her that had nothing to do with how her recruits were feeling.

Confidence.

Years before, as the story of the Cavalry had spread around SHIELD, she’d had zero control over the rumors, the truth a far cry from the wild stories passed from recruit to recruit. She’d be damned if the same were to happen to Phil’s legacy.

There was no one more uniquely suited than Melinda May to tell Phil Coulson's story, and she was honored to be the one to do so.


End file.
